It's November, Boy has already sent in his college applications (and gotten one acceptance), yet still the deluge continues. I can't stop reviewing the brochures now, though; how else will I discover who won the "most persistent" award? The "furthest away" award? The "????" award? So without further ado, the latest and not-greatest in recruiting literature.
The Michigan also-rans: Grand Valley State (MI, 3), U of M Dearborn (6-8), U-M Flint (3), Oakland U (3), Wayne State U (4-6), Davenport U (3), Central MU (6-8), Western MU (1-4, welcome to the club!), Eastern MU (4-6), U of Detroit Mercy (3), Aquinas (3), Lawrence Tech, Albion (3-4)
The techies: Rose-Hulman Tech (IN, 2-3): Nation's #1 engineering school you haven't heard of; MIT (4-5): Local meeting and how-to-apply brochure. Sigh. Never mind; MO Science & Tech (5); Michigan Tech (3); NYU Polytechnic: Never mind New York City, we rank high in graduates' salaries!
Small schools, small chance: U of Evansville (IN, 2), Manchester College (IN, 3-6): Indiana now trying to vie for most colleges ignored. Northeastern (MA, 2), U of Dayton (OH, 2), Miami (OH, 3), U of Toledo (3), wait, Ohio still pulling ahead.
Last-minute pushes: U of Pittsburgh (3-7)
B1G Ten? Really only about the one: U of Michigan (3-4). Sorry, THE Ohio State U (5-6): we still don't like you or your love of articles; U of Illinois (2): Dept of Science & Engineering, I love the dot-matrix, non-graphic return address!!; Northwestern (2-3): purple!
Ignoring the Ivies: Yale (4), Penn (2), Columbia (2)
Etc.: DePaul U (3), Johns Hopkins, Vanderbilt (TN, 3-4), Case Western Reserve (OH, 3), Washington & Lee (VA, 2), the Army and Marines (eep!)
The diehards: U of Chicago (17-18), U of Kentucky (16-21): Since you ignored our first 19 letters, we're sending a paper application in letter #20.
We're hoping we'll have a final answer and maybe an actual decision by the end of the year, so we're also hoping the mail will stop. That seems unlikely, however, so I'll be back with a last assessment sometime in the (hopefully not-too-far) future.
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
A weighty decision....
Okay, it's only been three months since the last time I went through Boy's pile of college brochures, but the shelf where I keep them is close to bursting and depositing all that unwanted paper on my kitchen floor. I put them all in a box and they're sitting on my ankles right now, and the box is really heavy. So in the interest of keeping my shins unbruised, I'm going to go through these a little more quickly, and only comment if I feel inspired.
Grand Valley State U (MI, 2): Not just a brochure, but free parking and a meal!
U of Kentucky (13-15): Just in case you forgot about us.
Davenport U (MI), U Detroit Mercy (2), UM-Dearborn (4-5), UM-Flint (1-2)
U of Southern Cal (2-4): Come to LA this summer!
Reed College (OR, 2): No chance, but their annual Nitrogen Day sounds like a blast!
Roosevelt U (IL): Downtown Chicago! Plus my cousin teaches there!
U of Toledo (1-2), U of Dayton, Wooster (3): Come to exciting Ohio?
New York U (2): We did mention New York City, right?
Rose-Hulman Institute of Tech (IN): The best engineering school you've never heard of.
Aquinas College (MI, 1-2): "The most open-hearted, open-minded college in America ... rooted in the Catholic Dominican tradition." Um, yeah.
Eastern MI U (1-3): Oh, Eastern. You have about as much likelihood of getting Boy to attend as your football team has of going undefeated.
Oakland U (MI, 2): Card is nice, but the dancing bear in your TV ads creeps me out.
Central MI U (1-5): Let's see how many in-state colleges we can ignore!
Kettering U (MI, 2-3): That makes the count 12? 13?
Yale U (1-3): Boy believes in equal opportunity when it comes to ignoring brochures, Ivy League! So 2nd postcard addressed to parents. Then a 124-page soft-bound book. No wonder tuition is high.
MIT (3): News supplement for its 150th year; interesting but maybe unobtainable.
University of Michigan (2): Yeah, baby, we've got the president at the Big House!
Alma College (MI, 1-2): They're called the Scots and a picture showed bagpipes. Run, Boy, run!
Carthage College (WI, 2): There's a picture of a huge lake ... that means huge mosquitoes! Run!
Bowling Green State (2): Ohio trying to outbid Michigan in the number of colleges ignored....
Ohio State (4): ... or mocked.
U of Chicago (10): Whoa. They knew we were ignoring the quirky postcards so they sent a massive brochure. Plus postcards (11-12), letter (13-15), and huge brochure (16).
Rice U (TX, 2): They put the tuition right on there to scare you away.
Missouri S & T (3-4); U North Carolina (2); Pitt (1-2); Carnegie-Mellon (3); Olin College (MA): ????
Northwood U (MI): "Where can you get a great BUSINESS EDUCATION?" Isn't a major part of business knowing your target market? Brochure FAIL.
Manchester U (IN, 1-2): Apply early, get a FREE T SHIRT!
Rensselaer (NY): If you can spell or pronounce it correctly, you're admitted!
Army ROTC: Please, sir, may I not have another!
Michigan Tech (2): Hmm, tell me more about this full scholarship with tuition and stipend.
And that's enough for this installment. I can feel my feet again, and there's room in the drawer, so the rest can wait for a while. I'm hoping that now Boy is actually filling out college applications, the mail will slow down. Boy's senior year could slow down, too, he'll be out of the house before we know it!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Please ... think of the trees!
It's been five months since I left off going through the pile of Boy's college brochures, and since then he's added very good ACT score and a second top AP to his credit. The stack is ready to spill out of its hidey-hole, so it's time for me to peruse the pile and add my snarky comments....
Rice U. (TX): glossy one-fold brochure with six reasons on "Why Rice?" Carbs not one of the reasons.
Boston U.: we're hedging our bets ... enter with a major in Engineering, like you said on your ACT survey, or discover "an unexpected new passion or career path."
Wayne State (3): Take a peek at your future ... wait, you can move your hands from your eyes, Detroit is safe now!
Northwestern U.: nice glossy brochure: we're fancy but not stuck up! And purple!
North Carolina: "May I tell you why I love UNC?" Actually, I think the question is "Can you," and the answer is "No."
Grand Valley State: Sign up for the Laker Experience! Does it involve Laker girls? Because Paula Abdul is so passe.
Brown U.: Combines the best of both worlds ... an Ivy League education and a name that lends itself to immature jokes!
U of Kentucky (11): New slogan "See Blue." Every month, it seems like.
U of Southern Cal: "As a top-rated private institution in the heart of Los Angeles, $$$$$$$$$$$$$." Sorry, I couldn't bring myself to read further.
Oakland U (MI): wouldn't it be so easy to stop by an check us out? Not as easy as trashing this postcard.
THE Ohio State U (2): Looks like no change from the last brochure, and no change in our response: AHAHAHAHAHA!
Ohio Northern (2): Big brochure with key facts, among them these seemingly contrary ones: School mascots are the Polar Bears, but the school colors are orange and black? Are they Halloween polar bears?
Harvey Mudd College (CA): Awesome holographic brochure! Focus on math, science, and engineering! And 35 minutes from Disneyland!
DePaul U (2): Come to our local reception in metro Detroit to hear about Chicago!
College of Wooster: Choose your adventure now ... in Ohio?
OSU (3): come visit and learn more ... or visit our tattoo shops for extra cash!
Sarah Lawrence: no need to mention we're co-ed, unless you count name-dropping Joseph Lawrence and Star Wars in the first sentence.
U of Michigan ... Dearborn (2): Damn.
Penn U: Ben Franklin founded us ... we're Ivy League but we don't need to mention it until the last paragraph.
Embry-Riddle: Aeronautical University! in Florida! Where you could train to work on the shuttle progr—erm, never mind.
Lake Superior State (MI): The one picture with snow shows kids wearing sweatshirts ... and neither does the flyer that came a few days later. Yeah, not buying it.
Penn State: Take five seconds to return this postcard ... or five minutes to try and unfold this brochure.
Michigan Tech: Visit our virtual booth at our online College Fair!
U of M Dearborn (3): Sigh. Great value, though!
Mercer U (GA): these Bears don't believe in hibernation! (And they're trying to attract teens?)
Miami U (OH): ACT score = potential $10K per year scholarship!
Princeton U: We're so Ivy League, we don't need to mention it.
Penn State (2): Check out our local meeting!
Bowling Green State (OH): Young eyes could read tiny white letters on a bright orange background, but old parent eyes can't.
George Mason U (VA): attend our National Youth Leadership Forum on National Security. Gulp.
Macalester College (MN, 2): This may be your last piece of mail from us, unless ... Promise?
SUNY at Albany: College of Nanoscale Science & Engineering ... Nano, nano, nano!
Kentucky (12): Ooo, a glossy newsletter instead of the usual letter .... zzzzzz.
USC (2): Big brochure with pretty pictures.
U of Chicago (8): Emphasizing research instead of the usual quirky stuff ... setting up for the big brochure coming soon.
U of Illinois: "We practically invented engineering. Ok, maybe not."
DePaul U (3): The postcard literally says "Hi." We say, "Bye."
Miami of OH (2): "successful students like you earn special perks," which sadly do not include free cars and tattoos.
Wooster (2): "Follow a path that's all your own," along with all the other students.
New York U: New York City, kids, with guaranteed housing!
U of Chicago (9): Includes big poster designed to give students "warm fuzzies imagining my future as a college student."
University of Michigan...: ... Ann Arbor! Hooray! It took you long enough. But hey, we had the president at our last commencement.
Since Boy actually wanted to read that last one, I'm going to stop here. I've still got a stack two inches thick, but that can wait for another installment.
Rice U. (TX): glossy one-fold brochure with six reasons on "Why Rice?" Carbs not one of the reasons.
Boston U.: we're hedging our bets ... enter with a major in Engineering, like you said on your ACT survey, or discover "an unexpected new passion or career path."
Wayne State (3): Take a peek at your future ... wait, you can move your hands from your eyes, Detroit is safe now!
Northwestern U.: nice glossy brochure: we're fancy but not stuck up! And purple!
North Carolina: "May I tell you why I love UNC?" Actually, I think the question is "Can you," and the answer is "No."
Grand Valley State: Sign up for the Laker Experience! Does it involve Laker girls? Because Paula Abdul is so passe.
Brown U.: Combines the best of both worlds ... an Ivy League education and a name that lends itself to immature jokes!
U of Kentucky (11): New slogan "See Blue." Every month, it seems like.
U of Southern Cal: "As a top-rated private institution in the heart of Los Angeles, $$$$$$$$$$$$$." Sorry, I couldn't bring myself to read further.
Oakland U (MI): wouldn't it be so easy to stop by an check us out? Not as easy as trashing this postcard.
THE Ohio State U (2): Looks like no change from the last brochure, and no change in our response: AHAHAHAHAHA!
Ohio Northern (2): Big brochure with key facts, among them these seemingly contrary ones: School mascots are the Polar Bears, but the school colors are orange and black? Are they Halloween polar bears?
Harvey Mudd College (CA): Awesome holographic brochure! Focus on math, science, and engineering! And 35 minutes from Disneyland!
DePaul U (2): Come to our local reception in metro Detroit to hear about Chicago!
College of Wooster: Choose your adventure now ... in Ohio?
OSU (3): come visit and learn more ... or visit our tattoo shops for extra cash!
Sarah Lawrence: no need to mention we're co-ed, unless you count name-dropping Joseph Lawrence and Star Wars in the first sentence.
U of Michigan ... Dearborn (2): Damn.
Penn U: Ben Franklin founded us ... we're Ivy League but we don't need to mention it until the last paragraph.
Embry-Riddle: Aeronautical University! in Florida! Where you could train to work on the shuttle progr—erm, never mind.
Lake Superior State (MI): The one picture with snow shows kids wearing sweatshirts ... and neither does the flyer that came a few days later. Yeah, not buying it.
Penn State: Take five seconds to return this postcard ... or five minutes to try and unfold this brochure.
Michigan Tech: Visit our virtual booth at our online College Fair!
U of M Dearborn (3): Sigh. Great value, though!
Mercer U (GA): these Bears don't believe in hibernation! (And they're trying to attract teens?)
Miami U (OH): ACT score = potential $10K per year scholarship!
Princeton U: We're so Ivy League, we don't need to mention it.
Penn State (2): Check out our local meeting!
Bowling Green State (OH): Young eyes could read tiny white letters on a bright orange background, but old parent eyes can't.
George Mason U (VA): attend our National Youth Leadership Forum on National Security. Gulp.
Macalester College (MN, 2): This may be your last piece of mail from us, unless ... Promise?
SUNY at Albany: College of Nanoscale Science & Engineering ... Nano, nano, nano!
Kentucky (12): Ooo, a glossy newsletter instead of the usual letter .... zzzzzz.
USC (2): Big brochure with pretty pictures.
U of Chicago (8): Emphasizing research instead of the usual quirky stuff ... setting up for the big brochure coming soon.
U of Illinois: "We practically invented engineering. Ok, maybe not."
DePaul U (3): The postcard literally says "Hi." We say, "Bye."
Miami of OH (2): "successful students like you earn special perks," which sadly do not include free cars and tattoos.
Wooster (2): "Follow a path that's all your own," along with all the other students.
New York U: New York City, kids, with guaranteed housing!
U of Chicago (9): Includes big poster designed to give students "warm fuzzies imagining my future as a college student."
University of Michigan...: ... Ann Arbor! Hooray! It took you long enough. But hey, we had the president at our last commencement.
Since Boy actually wanted to read that last one, I'm going to stop here. I've still got a stack two inches thick, but that can wait for another installment.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Mr. Popularity....
So six months ago I reviewed the pile of college advertisements Boy had begun getting. Six months later, he's almost done with his junior year and has a good ACT score to his credit—and the pile is becoming a deluge, so it's time to wade through the mail again ... because he doesn't care to. The numbers in parens indicate what number mailing from that particular school.
Kentucky (5): Newsletter style this time, what's new on campus and new academic program.
U of Chicago (4): Another foldout postcard, touting overseas programs.
Kentucky (6): New school year starting, think of us!
Kentucky (7): Letter pegged to fall activities.
U of Chicago (5): Foldout postcard on fun school scavenger hunt.
Iowa: Glossy brochure. Smallest Big Ten school, small faculty: student ratio. No mention of cows.
Kentucky (8): I know it's homecoming week, but your stalking is starting to freak me out.
U of Chicago (6): It's a race to waste the most paper!
Kentucky (9): I didn't mean it, really. Stop it.
U of Chicago (7): Summer high school program, but still. Stop it.
U of Evansville (IN): PSAT scores earn you this letter and shiny brochure!
Wayne State (2): "See it to believe it" ... um, we've already been to Detroit.
Missouri S&T: Go to a specialized university! But there are clubs, too!
Rochester IT: I didn't even know there was an Insitute of Tech in Rochester. And I don't want to know why Admissions is in the "Bausch & Lomb Center."
U of Rochester (2): Do they use the same mail service? They give a login and password for an "academic guide!"
Washington U in St. Louis (2): We'll match your online service and raise you an SASE.
Washington & Lee (VA): We're like Harvard, Northwestern, Notre Dame, & Duke, except you've heard of them!
Drexel U (PA): If our online quiz doesn't tempt you, maybe our dragon logo will!
U of Miami (FL, 2): Another online quiz, helping you figure out who you are and where to go...
Kentucky (10): Spring semester is starting, and these winter months bring challenges ... like figuring out which season it is.
Carnegie Mellon: In big letters: "Are You Technology?" In fine print: "Yet we're about so much more than technology."
Kettering U (MI): Check us out! We have a smart phone code!
U Detroit Mercy: Postcard personalized with name and interest! Someone's been reading their PSAT list!
Illinois Wesleyan (2): "What's the big deal about small colleges?" Hmm, who will tell me?
Swarthmore (PA): "within easy reach of the excitement of Philadelphia!" We do like our ratings, don't we?
Carthage (WI): Another fan of touting college ratings.
Rensselaer Polytechnic (NY): "Galileo ... Fahrenheit ... Edison ... Gates ... Boy?" Are you the next great mind?
Case Western Reserve (2): a letter this time, and invitation to "how to choose the ideal college" ... and that might be ... CWR?
Tulane (2): Wow, you've been selected to take part in the online quiz!
Bellarmine U (KY): Another free guide "Where to Hang Your Hat" ... people still wear hats?
Wittenberg U (OH): Not just a guide ... a free checklist!
CO School of Mines (2): Focus on engineering and science ... in the Rockies ... and a career center to find you work.
Columbia Engineering (NY): "You may be competitive for admission" ... we're Ivy League, we don't beg.
Bowdoin College (ME): former home of Longfellow and Hawthorne. We hope you know who that is.
Penn/Wharton: summer program, management and technology?
Missouri S&T (2): Come fly in and visit!
Carnegie Mellon (2): summer "pre-college" programs ... is it "pre-college" tuition?
DePaul (IL): Hmmm ... are they in Chicago? I can't tell from the dozens of pictures.
Oberlin (OH): What liberal arts education should be ... did they read his areas of interest?
Northeastern (MA): online quiz, "Find out why you are a high achiever!" Good genes?
Macalester (MN): A big glossy brochure and no pictures of snow.
Norwich (VT): Offers to look at "working life of an engineer."
I'm not even two-thirds through the stack, so I'll save the rest for later, and get some totals together then. I don't remember getting this much mail when I was in high school ... are there more colleges than there used to be, or do they just want our money that badly?
Kentucky (5): Newsletter style this time, what's new on campus and new academic program.
U of Chicago (4): Another foldout postcard, touting overseas programs.
Kentucky (6): New school year starting, think of us!
Kentucky (7): Letter pegged to fall activities.
U of Chicago (5): Foldout postcard on fun school scavenger hunt.
Iowa: Glossy brochure. Smallest Big Ten school, small faculty: student ratio. No mention of cows.
Kentucky (8): I know it's homecoming week, but your stalking is starting to freak me out.
U of Chicago (6): It's a race to waste the most paper!
Kentucky (9): I didn't mean it, really. Stop it.
U of Chicago (7): Summer high school program, but still. Stop it.
U of Evansville (IN): PSAT scores earn you this letter and shiny brochure!
Wayne State (2): "See it to believe it" ... um, we've already been to Detroit.
Missouri S&T: Go to a specialized university! But there are clubs, too!
Rochester IT: I didn't even know there was an Insitute of Tech in Rochester. And I don't want to know why Admissions is in the "Bausch & Lomb Center."
U of Rochester (2): Do they use the same mail service? They give a login and password for an "academic guide!"
Washington U in St. Louis (2): We'll match your online service and raise you an SASE.
Washington & Lee (VA): We're like Harvard, Northwestern, Notre Dame, & Duke, except you've heard of them!
Drexel U (PA): If our online quiz doesn't tempt you, maybe our dragon logo will!
U of Miami (FL, 2): Another online quiz, helping you figure out who you are and where to go...
Kentucky (10): Spring semester is starting, and these winter months bring challenges ... like figuring out which season it is.
Carnegie Mellon: In big letters: "Are You Technology?" In fine print: "Yet we're about so much more than technology."
Kettering U (MI): Check us out! We have a smart phone code!
U Detroit Mercy: Postcard personalized with name and interest! Someone's been reading their PSAT list!
Illinois Wesleyan (2): "What's the big deal about small colleges?" Hmm, who will tell me?
Swarthmore (PA): "within easy reach of the excitement of Philadelphia!" We do like our ratings, don't we?
Carthage (WI): Another fan of touting college ratings.
Rensselaer Polytechnic (NY): "Galileo ... Fahrenheit ... Edison ... Gates ... Boy?" Are you the next great mind?
Case Western Reserve (2): a letter this time, and invitation to "how to choose the ideal college" ... and that might be ... CWR?
Tulane (2): Wow, you've been selected to take part in the online quiz!
Bellarmine U (KY): Another free guide "Where to Hang Your Hat" ... people still wear hats?
Wittenberg U (OH): Not just a guide ... a free checklist!
CO School of Mines (2): Focus on engineering and science ... in the Rockies ... and a career center to find you work.
Columbia Engineering (NY): "You may be competitive for admission" ... we're Ivy League, we don't beg.
Bowdoin College (ME): former home of Longfellow and Hawthorne. We hope you know who that is.
Penn/Wharton: summer program, management and technology?
Missouri S&T (2): Come fly in and visit!
Carnegie Mellon (2): summer "pre-college" programs ... is it "pre-college" tuition?
DePaul (IL): Hmmm ... are they in Chicago? I can't tell from the dozens of pictures.
Oberlin (OH): What liberal arts education should be ... did they read his areas of interest?
Northeastern (MA): online quiz, "Find out why you are a high achiever!" Good genes?
Macalester (MN): A big glossy brochure and no pictures of snow.
Norwich (VT): Offers to look at "working life of an engineer."
I'm not even two-thirds through the stack, so I'll save the rest for later, and get some totals together then. I don't remember getting this much mail when I was in high school ... are there more colleges than there used to be, or do they just want our money that badly?
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
We want you as a new recruit!
September and school season are well and truly underway, and with a high school junior living in our house, so is the flood of college brochures. I know that twenty-*cough-cough-cough* years ago, I must have received my own share of collegiate junk mail, but I was so focused on going to Michigan that I didn't really look at any of them. Now that I'm going to be the one writing the checks, however, I'm paying closer attention to the invitations in the mailbox. Boy, of course, is ignoring most everything that comes addressed to him; like me, he's only thinking of Michigan. So I'm going to be the one to inform you about the current state of university propaganda. These came in standard-size letters unless otherwise marked.
Colorado School of Mines: The message basically says: We're engineers!
Northern Michigan: A brochure with pictures; translation: We do have girls way up north!
University of Chicago (1): The envelope was addressed to "the parents of Boy." But the letter says "you might thrive in our vibrant environment." Maybe the exciting online quiz will settle it.
Loyola of Chicago: Oooh, an interactive online quiz, "check it out now, Boy!"
Illinois Wesleyan: We're highly rated and have high graduate placement!
University of Rochester: bigger envelope; "our curriculum has no required subjects" (boldface theirs), plus lots of research money and low student/teacher ratios.
Miami (Florida): another quiz! and we can send you text messages!
U of Georgia: on the envelope: "request your movie poster." On the inside, for Boy: "Athens, #1 campus scenes that rock." For us: "honors fellows receive a nearly full scholarship."
Tulane: Geez, another online quiz to help you find the right school/major for you?
Albion College (1): on envelope: "What kind of thinker are you?" "Are you a true thinker?"
Hofstra U: another "discover your interests" and "what to look for in a college" quiz. Gee, I wonder if the answer is "Hofstra"? And at least now I know it's in New York.
Otterbein College (OH): a postcard-sized, magazine-style brochure touting the usual.
Denison U (OH): Selected as one of 40 "colleges that change lives." P.S., merit-based scholarships!
U of Kentucky (1): "see why UK is well on its way to becoming a Top 20 research university" ... um, call back when you are one?
Case Western Reserve (OH, 1): we're considered a great producer of grad students.
Capital University (OH): Folded brochure, postcard size. Pretty generic.
Ohio Northern: Another, thicker folded postcard-size brochure. Magazine layout.
Vanderbilt (1): Bigger (half-magazine), lots of pretty pictures, lots of rankings.
"The" Ohio State University: 8x11 envelope did get Boy's attention: "Can I burn it and put it on YouTube?" Brochure with no gimmicks, just lots of details.
Wayne State U: shiny foldout brochure, basic "how to apply" plan.
Case Western (2): large postcard saying come meet a counselor.
U of Chicago (2): fold out postcard, a few stats, quote from play
MIT (1): this one also got Boy's attention: big 8x11 foldout into huge shiny poster.
Albion (2): 8x11 envelope, letter stressing high rankings, shiny brochure with more basics.
Kentucky (2): We're still trying to be Top 20. By 2020, after you graduate, so tough luck there.
Reed College (OR): winner for furthest away! 8x11 envelope; letter stresses fun atmosphere (our nuclear reactor has a rubber duck floating on top!) yet the brochure has boring periodic tables and online resources.
Kentucky (3): Really? Three letters? But hey, "you are likely already eligible to receive an academic scholarship," and this time there's no "almost top 20."
U of Chicago (3): another quirky postcard.
Vanderbilt (2): bigger postcard, mostly about financial aid.
U of Michigan...: yay! U of M! ...Dearborn. Aw, crap. But now we know the AP History score is worth 3 credits, or $972.
MIT (2): postcard inviting us to meet a rep locally. Boy said yes.
Kentucky (4): Okay, now you're just sounding desperate. Even if this time you actually give a personal username and password.
Washington U (St. Louis): ooh, this online survey is "backpack secrets of top scholars"!
So, a pretty broad mix of small liberal arts schools and big state universities. Appeals to money, prestige, fun, grad-school potential. Magazine graphics, online quizzes, statistics. And still, Boy didn't want to open a single one of them.
Colorado School of Mines: The message basically says: We're engineers!
Northern Michigan: A brochure with pictures; translation: We do have girls way up north!
University of Chicago (1): The envelope was addressed to "the parents of Boy." But the letter says "you might thrive in our vibrant environment." Maybe the exciting online quiz will settle it.
Loyola of Chicago: Oooh, an interactive online quiz, "check it out now, Boy!"
Illinois Wesleyan: We're highly rated and have high graduate placement!
University of Rochester: bigger envelope; "our curriculum has no required subjects" (boldface theirs), plus lots of research money and low student/teacher ratios.
Miami (Florida): another quiz! and we can send you text messages!
U of Georgia: on the envelope: "request your movie poster." On the inside, for Boy: "Athens, #1 campus scenes that rock." For us: "honors fellows receive a nearly full scholarship."
Tulane: Geez, another online quiz to help you find the right school/major for you?
Albion College (1): on envelope: "What kind of thinker are you?" "Are you a true thinker?"
Hofstra U: another "discover your interests" and "what to look for in a college" quiz. Gee, I wonder if the answer is "Hofstra"? And at least now I know it's in New York.
Otterbein College (OH): a postcard-sized, magazine-style brochure touting the usual.
Denison U (OH): Selected as one of 40 "colleges that change lives." P.S., merit-based scholarships!
U of Kentucky (1): "see why UK is well on its way to becoming a Top 20 research university" ... um, call back when you are one?
Case Western Reserve (OH, 1): we're considered a great producer of grad students.
Capital University (OH): Folded brochure, postcard size. Pretty generic.
Ohio Northern: Another, thicker folded postcard-size brochure. Magazine layout.
Vanderbilt (1): Bigger (half-magazine), lots of pretty pictures, lots of rankings.
"The" Ohio State University: 8x11 envelope did get Boy's attention: "Can I burn it and put it on YouTube?" Brochure with no gimmicks, just lots of details.
Wayne State U: shiny foldout brochure, basic "how to apply" plan.
Case Western (2): large postcard saying come meet a counselor.
U of Chicago (2): fold out postcard, a few stats, quote from play
MIT (1): this one also got Boy's attention: big 8x11 foldout into huge shiny poster.
Albion (2): 8x11 envelope, letter stressing high rankings, shiny brochure with more basics.
Kentucky (2): We're still trying to be Top 20. By 2020, after you graduate, so tough luck there.
Reed College (OR): winner for furthest away! 8x11 envelope; letter stresses fun atmosphere (our nuclear reactor has a rubber duck floating on top!) yet the brochure has boring periodic tables and online resources.
Kentucky (3): Really? Three letters? But hey, "you are likely already eligible to receive an academic scholarship," and this time there's no "almost top 20."
U of Chicago (3): another quirky postcard.
Vanderbilt (2): bigger postcard, mostly about financial aid.
U of Michigan...: yay! U of M! ...Dearborn. Aw, crap. But now we know the AP History score is worth 3 credits, or $972.
MIT (2): postcard inviting us to meet a rep locally. Boy said yes.
Kentucky (4): Okay, now you're just sounding desperate. Even if this time you actually give a personal username and password.
Washington U (St. Louis): ooh, this online survey is "backpack secrets of top scholars"!
So, a pretty broad mix of small liberal arts schools and big state universities. Appeals to money, prestige, fun, grad-school potential. Magazine graphics, online quizzes, statistics. And still, Boy didn't want to open a single one of them.
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