Friday, November 14, 2008

Callie blogs!

It's about time that Food Lady gave me a chance to blog. You'd think she'd be quicker to get the idea*. I sat on her desk, next to the computer, and all she did was scratch my ears. Then I sat on her lap, right in front of the keyboard, and all she did was stroke my fur. I tolerated that for a little while. She tries to be nice, I guess, but if she's not going to give me some treats (ie FRESH CHICKEN), she should at least give me a turn on the clicky click click machine. Click click click and little bugs dance across the screen. I like to chase bugs. They are quite tasty, if not as good as FRESH CHICKEN.

I've fixed her, ha ha. She's gone somewhere with the Big Noisy Man and left the computer on where I can get it. She thought I was sitting on the cat tree looking out the window for birdies, but I was really waiting to pounce on this keyboard. So now I can give you the real scoop about what goes on around here.

I am the real boss of the house, of course. Even my Big Fat Sister knows better than to mess with me. I tolerate her when it suits my purposes. Here all her extra fat is helping keep me warm, so I permit her to share my pillow. But if I'm enjoying a seat near Food Lady's dinner and she tries to nose into my territory, I will growl and swat her nose until she backs off. I will not share my chance for crumbs with anyone, especially not Big Fat Sister, who doesn't need any extra crumbs. I don't even bother growling at the Gray One; that's what Big Fat Sister is for. She keeps the Gray One in line, and I enjoy the top perch for watching birds, getting the best food, and stalking FRESH CHICKEN.

Don't let the Food Lady fool you. She may be making clicky clicks on this computer all day, but she's not doing real work. Sometimes I have to stare at her for 10 minutes before she realizes that I need more food! Those food pouches don't open themselves, so get to work, Lady! And when you're done, I feel like chasing a mousie. Don't make me come in there and knock the toy box off your desk before you realize you need to get back to work. And when you're done with that, come fluff my quilt. This blogging thing is tiring; I need another nap.

*I can't believe it took me this long, either, but I just now saw the idea somewhere else, and all the best ideas for this blog come from thievery.

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