Helllllp!!!

How many of you can remember what they were doing exactly sixteen years ago? I can, because that's the day my baby Boy was born. I woke up at 1 am with labor pains, went to the hospital (in a mild snow storm) at 4 am, thrilled to the fun of back labor until around 1 pm, when the doctor suggested a C-section because the Boy's head was too large and in the wrong position. By then I was all, "just get it out of me" (we didn't know the sex ahead of time), and by 3 pm I had my baby in my arms and sutures across my belly.

I remember it like it was last week, but today Boy turns sixteen. I won't blather on about how I don't feel old enough to have a 16 year old (because that's silly, I do feel older), or how time flies, or all that stuff. But the milestone made me pause. Now that Boy is sixteen, the following things are true:

• He's old enough to get his driver's license and drive by himself. (Don't clutch your steering wheels, he still needs to pass his test first.)
• He's old enough to get married, with parental consent. (!)
• He's old enough to be out in public alone between 12 midnight and 6 am (according to state law, but not Mom's).
• He's old enough that he doesn't have to wear a seatbelt in the back seat of a car. (Again, state law, not mine.)
• He can legally ride in a camper that's being towed behind a truck.
• He can work in a hazardous agricultural tasks, such as operating a combine or handling blasting caps. (Better not let him know about that last one.)
• (Fingers in ears, lalalalalalala) he can legally engage in naughty business and receive family planning information.
• He cannot, however, get a tattoo or use a tanning salon's services without parental permission. (!)

Sigh. Blather blather blather old blather time flies blather blather thank God he's not 18 yet blather blather blather.

I was going to use this photo for the wordless definition of teenager or hungry but I think it's appropriate here: