Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A weighty decision....

Okay, it's only been three months since the last time I went through Boy's pile of college brochures, but the shelf where I keep them is close to bursting and depositing all that unwanted paper on my kitchen floor. I put them all in a box and they're sitting on my ankles right now, and the box is really heavy. So in the interest of keeping my shins unbruised, I'm going to go through these a little more quickly, and only comment if I feel inspired. 

Grand Valley State U (MI, 2): Not just a brochure, but free parking and a meal!
U of Kentucky (13-15): Just in case you forgot about us.
Davenport U (MI), U Detroit Mercy (2), UM-Dearborn (4-5), UM-Flint (1-2)
U of Southern Cal (2-4): Come to LA this summer!
Reed College (OR, 2): No chance, but their annual Nitrogen Day sounds like a blast!
Roosevelt U (IL): Downtown Chicago! Plus my cousin teaches there!
U of Toledo (1-2), U of Dayton, Wooster (3): Come to exciting Ohio?
New York U (2): We did mention New York City, right? 
Rose-Hulman Institute of Tech (IN): The best engineering school you've never heard of.
Aquinas College (MI, 1-2): "The most open-hearted, open-minded college in America ... rooted in the Catholic Dominican tradition." Um, yeah.
Eastern MI U (1-3): Oh, Eastern. You have about as much likelihood of getting Boy to attend as your football team has of going undefeated.
Oakland U (MI, 2): Card is nice, but the dancing bear in your TV ads creeps me out.
Central MI U (1-5): Let's see how many in-state colleges we can ignore!
Kettering U (MI, 2-3): That makes the count 12? 13?
Yale U (1-3): Boy believes in equal opportunity when it comes to ignoring brochures, Ivy League! So 2nd postcard addressed to parents. Then a 124-page soft-bound book. No wonder tuition is high.
MIT (3): News supplement for its 150th year; interesting but maybe unobtainable.
University of Michigan (2): Yeah, baby, we've got the president at the Big House!
Alma College (MI, 1-2): They're called the Scots and a picture showed bagpipes. Run, Boy, run!
Carthage College (WI, 2): There's a picture of a huge lake ... that means huge mosquitoes! Run!
Bowling Green State (2): Ohio trying to outbid Michigan in the number of colleges ignored....
Ohio State (4): ... or mocked.
U of Chicago (10): Whoa. They knew we were ignoring the quirky postcards so they sent a massive brochure. Plus postcards (11-12), letter (13-15), and huge brochure (16).
Rice U (TX, 2): They put the tuition right on there to scare you away. 
Missouri S & T (3-4); U North Carolina (2); Pitt (1-2); Carnegie-Mellon (3); Olin College (MA): ????
Northwood U (MI): "Where can you get a great BUSINESS EDUCATION?" Isn't a major part of business knowing your target market? Brochure FAIL.
Manchester U (IN, 1-2): Apply early, get a FREE T SHIRT!
Rensselaer (NY): If you can spell or pronounce it correctly, you're admitted!
Army ROTC: Please, sir, may I not have another!
Michigan Tech (2): Hmm, tell me more about this full scholarship with tuition and stipend.

And that's enough for this installment. I can feel my feet again, and there's room in the drawer, so the rest can wait for a while. I'm hoping that now Boy is actually filling out college applications, the mail will slow down. Boy's senior year could slow down, too, he'll be out of the house before we know it!

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