The Word Nerd Wonders: Is rebranding like an STD?

Last week was long and stressful, so I spent much of yesterday doing odds and ends, surfing the internet and cleaning up more of my office.* I was browsing through some agent blogs when I came across this on the Swivet: cable's "Sci Fi Channel" is changing their name. To Syfy.

According to the network's president, they didn't want their name to imply that they limit themselves to just one genre. The new name, which is pronounced the same as "Sci Fi," is "a broader, more open and accessible and relatable and human-friendly brand." (To hell with the cyborg audience!) "It gives us a unique word and it gives us the opportunities to imbue it with the values and the perception that we want it to have," he said.

Well, you do your best to imbue it, Mr. Network Chief, but the switch is going communicate certain values and perceptions. First, that you think television viewers are scared by a name that contains abbreviations for Science—oh no! I might have to think!—and Fiction—that's like literature! save me! (On the other hand, that might explain their increasing reliance on pro wrestling and paranormal "reality" shows in their programming, while Battlestar Galactica, one of the best and deepest shows on TV, is coming to an end.) Second, that "Sci Fi" has too much of a niche audience to be successful. I particularly enjoyed this quote from a former Sci Fi executive:

“The name Sci Fi has been associated with geeks and dysfunctional, antisocial boys in their basements with video games and stuff like that, as opposed to the general public and the female audience in particular,” said TV historian Tim Brooks, who helped launch Sci Fi Channel when he worked at USA Network.

Mr. Brooks said that when people who say they don’t like science fiction enjoy a film like “Star Wars,” they don’t think it’s science fiction; they think it’s a good movie.

Gee, thanks for the stereotypes! I love sci fi, and yet I'm female, socially functional, and don't live in a basement. (Okay, I admit I'm a nerd, and maybe even a geek, but still....) And about that second statement ... let's just consider the top 10 all-time US box office films: Titanic; The Dark Knight; Star Wars; Shrek 2; ET; Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace; Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest; Spider-Man: Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith; and The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Of those top 10 films, only one (Titanic) does not have any sci fi, fantasy, or comic book elements. It doesn't seem to me like general audiences are afraid of sci fi. Maybe he hit it on the head with the "good movie" requirement, though. When most of your original programming consists of gems like Mansquito, you probably do need a good rebranding.

Whatever. But I think a worse, second problem awaits your new name. You obviously didn't consider the dictionary when you picked your creative spelling. If you look at the nine columns in Webster's of words that start with the letters "sy-," you'll notice all but a couple obscure ones** are pronounced with a short i. Sycamore. Syllable. Sympathy. Syncopate. Synonym. System. And my favorite (because I'm a science nerd), syzygy.***

So, Mr. Television Honcho, what is going to happen when all those new viewers you want to attract see your new name? They're going to think it sounds like "siffy." Will they think of the one word that begins with s-i-f, sift? No, my bet is they're going to think of the one word that begins with s-y-f-sound. That's right. Your shiny new network name is going to make people think of syphilis.

Well, they do say that p0rn does well during an economic downturn. Good luck with your new shows, like Battlestar Erotica, Stargate-S&M1, and co-ed p0rn wrestling. But I won't be coming out of my basement to watch.

*I mean to finish today or tomorrow, really I do.
**these include sycee, an ancient Chinese coin; sycosis, a crusty inflammation of hair follicles (ew!); and syenite, an igneous rock mainly made of feldspar.
***syzygy: the nearly straight-line configuration of three celestial bodies in a gravitational system, like our sun, moon, and the Earth during an eclipse.

Janespotting: Letters from Pemberley

This 1999 "continuation" of Pride and Prejudice, according to its author, Jane Dawkins, is a "patchwork" of events, ideas, and characters drawn from Jane Austen's own work. Austen did reveal a few future events at the end of P&P, and Dawkins builds on those by taking bits and pieces from Austen's other writings, as well as accounts from family members, and weaving them into an epistolary account of Elizabeth's first year as Mrs. Darcy.

The book consists of 25 letters sent from Elizabeth to her sister Jane, also newly married, recounting her new responsibilities as mistress of Pemberley and the new acquaintances she makes. Many of these new characters are other Austen characters in disguise; they have different names, but you can recognize the situations of Emma, now married to Mr. Knightley; Anne Elliott and her family, of Persuasion; and the widowed mother and daughters of Sense and Sensibility. Now, because Dawkins gives them new names that are also drawn from Austen's life and works, I found it difficult to keep track of which character name belonged to which situation. Still, it gave the work an air of familiarity that I found enjoyable.

There's no great plot to this novel; as a series of letters, we get news in bits and pieces. We hear of the events foreshadowed at the end of P&P, such as Kitty's moral improvement, Georgiana's fondness for Lizzy, Lydia's entreaties for money, the birth of a son to the Collinses, and the Bingleys' move to Derbyshire. Other events seem to follow naturally, such as Jane's and then Elizabeth's pregnancy announcements. The final event, a betrothal involving Georgiana, didn't really ring true, but it didn't completely strain credulity, either. And by using the epistolary* form, Dawkins only has to re-create Elizabeth's voice in the letters, and she does so creditably well.

So overall, I'd have to give this "continuation" a favorable rating. It's short, light, and hews very close to Austen; while there's nothing particularly new that would shock (or delight) the Austen fan, it felt very comfortable. You could do worse if you're looking for something Austenish to read.

*I love the word "epistolary," and wish I had more chances to use it, but not many people write novels in letter form any more.

Photo of the Week--3/9/09

We visited Spain at least three times while living in England; our last trip was to Madrid, with a couple days in nearby Toledo. There was no Tony Packo's (like in Toledo, Ohio), but there was all sorts of gorgeous art and architecture, such as this bridge over the River Tajo (aka Tagus). This is the "new" bridge, the Puente Nuevo de Alcántara. The rocks, the rushing water, the beautiful spring sky ... sigh. If spring doesn't get to Michigan soon, I'm tempted to head to Spain.

Gigi reports ... er, blogs

[Furtive glance. The coast is clear. The Grey Ghost can now report.]

It's been almost six years since I began living with the enemy. I was captured from my watcher's outpost, underneath the enemy's deck. They trapped me in a metal box and tortured me with medical probes. (They called it "going to the vet.") They imprisoned me in their house and began bribing me with tasty soft food. I know it is only because they are fattening me up so they can cook me and eat me later. So far I've managed to avoid being put in a pie, but I've had some awfully close calls. Although I usually manage to escape when the people get within ten feet of me, sometimes they trap me. It's my own fault, I suppose. The food lady gives really good ear scritches, and sometimes I break protocol and let her get close enough to catch me. If she cuddles me, I protest by purring as loud as I can. Eventually the vibrations cause her muscles to involuntarily relax, allowing me to escape.

Having observed these humans for many years, I am confident in sending this report to my superiors: the invasion will succeed. The humans are soft. They spend all their time watching strange flickering screens, both large and small. They won't even notice when our feline invasion force infiltrates and smothers them in their sleep. (Although I must note that the other feline occupants of the house, fat cat and skinny cat, will be less than useless; they can't be bothered to do anything but sleep and chase artificial mice.)

While I await your further orders, I will remain here, infiltrating the human house, preparing for our eventual victory and total world domination. If you see me sleeping on the humans' bed, it is only to stay warm and conserve my energy for the final battle. It has nothing to do with extra scritches. Nothing at all.

[Grey Ghost out.]

Random Thoughts ... Is the road singing?

No time for long, thought-out posts today, so just some random thoughts.

How I know spring is coming ('cause I can't tell by the weather): I saw two Great Blue Herons yesterday, attempting to land in a nearby creek despite horrible wind conditions. Plus, raccoon road-kill season has started.

If I have to work Saturday for the fourth time in a row, I'm really going to have to start scheduling my time better.

I don't think my toes are ever going to be warm again.

If I never see a yellow lawn sign again, I'll be happy.

Watch out, everyone, in ten days Boy can get his driver's permit.

If TSU hadn't banned further cats I'd be seriously tempted, because there's one at the shelter who's so sweet and yet so shy that I worry she won't find a home.

I'm sure that the repaved stretch of Ford Road is singing to me. Every time I drive down it I hear harmonics that I know aren't coming from the radio. Yet any time I turn off the radio and listen to the road, it stops singing. I would be seriously disturbed by this, but because this is the ONLY smooth road within 50 miles of me, I can't complain.

I'm not sure where to stop this list. So here it stops.

Janespotting: Pemberley/An Unequal Marriage

I'm continuing my reading of "sequels" to Austen's work, in this case to Pride and Prejudice. British novelist Emma Tennant published these two works in 1993 and 1994, making them two of the first in the flood of Austen sequels. Tennant has a very good reputation as a writer, bringing feminist and fantastic elements to her work, but these sequels aren't thought of very well by Austen fans. Nonetheless, they're early and my library had them, so I thought I'd give them a try.

The first sequel, Pemberley, takes place about a year after Darcy and Elizabeth's marriage. Elizabeth is preparing to host the entire extended family for the holidays—all the Bennets, including silly Mrs. Bennet and flighty Lydia, as well as the snooty Lady Catherine de Bourgh. It's a challenge to Elizabeth as hostess, made more difficult by the fact that she has yet to bear Darcy a child, a fact everyone seems to be remarking on. In dealing with personality conflicts between her family and Darcy's, Elizabeth comes to believe that Darcy is hiding a secret from her. In the end, she discovers it has all been a misunderstanding, and all is resolved happily.

The second sequel, An Unequal Marriage, takes place almost twenty years later. Elizabeth is preparing to host most of the extended family for the wedding of Darcy's friend and cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, a task made more difficult by the fact that their son, Edward, has reportedly disgraced the family by incurring some gambling debts. In dealing with personality conflicts between Fitzwilliam's new bride and Darcy's family, Elizabeth comes to believe that Darcy has hidden the truth about Edmund, and is disinheriting him. In the end, she discovers it has all been a misunderstanding, and all is resolved happily.

Now, if what you loved about the original Pride and Prejudice was seeing Elizabeth agonize over misjudging Darcy, worry for pages and pages about her mistake, and then have it all resolved with one conversation, then you might enjoy these books. If you are like me, however, and find the characters' journey to be the interesting part of the original novel, you might not enjoy watching Elizabeth turn into a self-doubting, humorless worrywart who won't communicate with her soul mate for over 100 pages. After all, there was an element of truth to Elizabeth's original judgment of Darcy—he was too proud, and he changed to earn her love. In these books, Elizabeth's judgments are wrong, and everything is all a misunderstanding because she and Darcy don't communicate. So while these books do fairly well in creating the scenery and language of Austen's world, I find the characters too unlike the originals to really enjoy them.

That's okay, there are still two dozen more sequels for me to sample (although I'm not going to consume them all at once, just to preserve my sanity).

Photo of the Week--3/2/09

One of the (many) things I loved about living in London was the ability to hop on plane and within three hours arrive at so many different places. We had a spare day off one January, so we took a weekend break to Gibraltar. It's a small but fascinating place: attached to Spain, within eyesight of Africa, yet so veddy British in its buildings and shops and language. We had lovely weather, the better to enjoy views like this of the Rock.